Monday, March 5, 2012

At times my bedroom sees more traffic than Grand Central Station

Imagine if you will four cats.  Mickey, Charlotte and Gabriel get along with each other, but Chanel gets bullied by Gabriel.  So, to prevent a fight I came up with the plan of separating them.  Some nights Chanel gets to sleep with me, other nights Gabriel gets to share my bed.  When I’m ready to turn in I close my door.  And that’s when it starts …

No sooner am I in bed or there is scratching at the door.  I know that scratch, only one cat scratches … Mickey.  So I get up and let him in. 

Within minutes I will hear a throaty meow.  I know that meow, only Charlotte sounds like an old coffee grinder.  So once again I get up and let her in.

It’s not long before Mickey decides he wants to go out.  I try to make him change his mind by calling him to bed or tempting him with a nice soft basket.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  So I have to get up again to let Mick out.

While I’m up I turn to Charlotte … “Do you want to go out too?”  Charlotte isn’t moving, she seems quite happy where she is at the time.  Of course, that doesn’t last long.  Sooner or later she decides she wants a change of scenery.  So, up again to now let Charlotte out.

When I hear Mickey scratching and Charlotte meowing again I decide to ignore them.  If I let them in I’ll only have to get up again to let them out.  “No Mickey,” I call, “go to sleep.”  My call gets answered by more scratching and meowing, but I stand (or rather lie) firm, I’m not letting them in.

That’s when Gabriel raises his head with a face like “Can’t you hear there’s someone at the door?”  Now I have to content with a cat looking at me, waiting to answer his friends’ call.  I’m not falling for it, he can look at me until the cows come home, I’m in bed and I’m staying put.

That is until Gabriel keeps looking at me, now adding a soft “Meeeee” to get his message across.  “Oh all right, I’ll let them in,” I tell him.  “But they better go to sleep or ….”  Or what? 

In the wee hours of the morning I wake up from a pitiful cry.  Now Gabriel wants to go out. 
“Gabriel, no, come back to bed.”
“No, come, go back to sleep.”
“Mee eee”
If I ignore his meow (or what has to pass for one) it just gets longer and more urgent.  Like an opera singer launching into an area of Tosca.  “Meeeee eeeee eeeee”.
Oh for goodness sake okay, I’m coming.

I wonder what Mickey, Charlotte and Gabriel are saying when they get together.   She falls for it every time?

On the nights that I let Chanel sleep with me, that’s no picnic either.  She curls up with me and doesn’t ask to be let out, but she keeps me awake in other ways … first purring and then snoring.

Jeez but that cat can snore.  At times I’ve asked her if she can turn the volume down a bit, which results in a sound an octave higher than before.  Not to mention that she likes to lie close to me, ticking my face with her whiskers. 

Now that I’m up everyone is sound asleep.  Nobody wants to go out, nobody wants to come in.  Nobody purrs, nobody snores.  For some reason I feel like playing music … really loud.


  1. I once lived with 6 indoor cats, a husband, and a kid in a very small house. I can't for the life of me remember if I got any sleep or not.

  2. Oh sleeping with a man is terrible Alex. They snore even louder than a cat and it's less cute.

  3. LOL! I have no idea how you manage any sleep at all. My two like to wedge me into a 2ft wide by 4 ft. long spot on our king sized bed. They move in when I'm sleeping on my side in a semi-fetal position. Trying to get them to move, is like kicking cement. Zoe snores too!

  4. No kidding! He was a much bigger problem than 6 cats ever were.

  5. Fortunately it's not like that every night. If it was I would consider moving into a three bedroom condo.